Confessions of a Leader


Before you read this, I want to make sure you know that I am not writing it in order to manufacture an encouraging response. And I know that many of you, out of the kindness of your heart, will want to be an encouragement. That is certainly great, and always welcome. But I’m not discouraged right now.

I love my calling and role in the church. It is a hard one, but God has been perfectly willing to prepare and train me through life. For that I am forever thankful.

This isn’t about discouragement. it is just about honest transparency. What I’m writing isn’t just my story. I would say that most pastors and other types of leaders share these feelings. But we tend to cover up our challenges. We are tempted to keep silent.

But I prefer confession. I prefer blatant honesty. It builds a better platform for the future. So here it is.

1. I feel inadequate almost all of the time.

2. I struggle with prayer.

3. I stay conflicted about progress and change. My head says patience, my heart says go/change/improve now! I worry that people aren’t ready. I fear the destructive nature of conflict. And to balance that sickness, I find too,much personal value in the quality of the church I lead.

4. There are many things about church that make me uncomfortable.

5. I understand why some people avoid the church.

Now that I’ve scared you to death. Let me give you 5 absolute truths of which I am absolutely convinced. Pay attention, they coordinate back to the same number above.

1. I am convinced that God builds His Church. Christ is the Senior Pastor. He must become more. I must become less.

2. God is more committed to staying connected to me than I am to Him. He keeps me there. When I am weary, worn or distracted, He isn’t.

3. My worry does no real good. The church belongs to Christ. When I move at His pace, I move at the right pace. I rest in Him. He has all the pressure on Him.

4. There are many things about church that make God uncomfortable too.

5. Christ is ready to use His church to spread His gospel. It’s the primary reason that there is a church. Just because someone avoids church, that doesn’t mean they have to do without Christ. We can build a church that will represent Christ better in the hearts and lives of those far from Him.

The future is bright. Christ is in control. It’s time to follow Him with confidence.

You with me?